OH! My life is just totally out of control! I’m so pissed with myself; I don’t know what to do now. Well, of course I know I have to fix it, I have to fix me but then I’m just too screwed up to even do that. It’s like I’m in this quicksand. I’m sinking, and I’m not even struggling. I’m just there in the middle, dazed, unmoving, not fighting, just going with the flow, or the absence of it.
I’m actually right in the cafeteria now, sitting in one of the side tables near the center. I would’ve wanted a corner table so that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable ranting my heart out but I couldn’t get one. Anyway, this is just so sad. I’m here not eating, not even with any company, just ranting, complaining about my miserable life. Oh, it’s just so sad.
MG is not even here. MG, my crush who’s getting fatter by the day, as Mimi pointed out. MG with a girlfriend named A*** who really isn’t that pretty, as Mimi pointed out too.
Oh, if I were just a little bit high right now, I mean really high (I’m only feeling high due to absence, not lack, of sleep) I would be thinking about flying and just forgetting about all of these.
10:42 AM
Wednesday
March 4, 2009
CASAA
11:49 AM
Friday
March 20, 2009
CASAA
Okay, so today Mimi and I hung out again at CASAA like we always do. We shared a meal, ‘coz we eat crazy small. Then suddenly, Mysterious Guy came in. He walked to a table nearby and kissed the cheek of a girl sitting on the table across us. Then he sat down beside her. And could you believe my luck (or the lack of it), I finally got to scrutinize the Lucky Girl’s face. Oh, like Mimi said, she’s really nothing special at all if you look real close. One look, she might look like she’s really something but after a time you’d notice her mouth isn’t really very pretty, just a fine girl, though not totally swell. Anyway, Mimi and I just laughed it off. I’m on the second day of my job today as an assistant wardrobe stylist for an indie film. I’d like to tell my mom about it, but I better not yet, not until the finals is over.
